For the first time, in my life I believe, I’m allowing myself to sit in the space in between. Like the sand running between the stones as the waves recede, I sit and wait for the next wave. Wondering will I be swept out to sea, or stay solidly near the shore. I don’t think it’s possible for any of us to not be affected in some way by our environment. Or to lose some part of us as the water pulls back. But don’t we also gain as new things come in riding the tide?
No matter how strong we think we are, we all need our moments in between. To not get too far ahead of ourselves and predetermine outcomes. Or make rash decisions about who we are or who our fellowman is. I am taking a wait and see attitude during this space and taking care of myself most of all.
Having just concluded two months of intense writing and now at the completion of my last novel, I find myself solidly in that moment where I am faced with feeling the ending fully before starting a new beginning. I have been here countless times before. After losing a beloved furry friend or selling my retail stores. Most recently feeling the unrest of the country and recognizing a longtime friendship has changed. Moments when it would be easy to fill the space with something else so not to relax—or feel the emptiness—for too long. So it feels weird to force myself to take that deep breath and live in the now.
I’m a doer, so resting does not come easy. Even when I’m watching TV, I have a book open in front of me, or I’m checking email. But right now I’m working on staying in the present moment. If we don’t take the moment to reflect, enjoy, count it as a victory, or know what happened, we are destined to never appreciate the fullness of our lives. We never know what to alter about ourselves or our situations, and we never know our true joy or our true sadness.
For me, I’m cooking, planning for the holidays, training for Portland to Coast, a 130-mile relay event coming up next summer, and catching up on some books in my very tall Must Read pile. I’m planning a trip to Italy in the Spring.
I am writing, of course. That happens daily, even if it is just a short story or my newsletter. And I’m trying to live in the moment. Not get too far ahead as I’m finding my book Derailed a home on its journey to publication. Until then, I’ll have another cup of coffee and enjoy the day. Enjoy this space in between. And imagine myself on my favorite beach in Hawaii and let the warm salty waves crash at my feet. Appreciating every past and present moment that brought me to here.
Happy Thanksgiving my friends. Find much to be grateful for. And breathe into the empty spaces. Knowing they won’t stay empty for long.
My question for you: How do you fill the space in between?
P.S. Here are some pictures of my week and of course of Ms. Bella!